ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
