u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize