honey bunches of taint.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
