im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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