sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
