found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
wow bdsm is so cute
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