Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
