do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
