I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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