is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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