scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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