Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
