Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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