perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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