Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
