Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
