oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
