how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
