shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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