hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
