I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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