I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
