alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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