is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think I am morally bankrupt
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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