I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
