hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
