doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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