my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
