Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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