rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
