just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
