This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
