Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize