im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize