how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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