Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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