eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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