Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
