and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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