Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
