Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Couch. On fire.
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