so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
