At least make sure they are 18
Why
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
