just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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