I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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