Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
