Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
