When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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