So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
