I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
