im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
