If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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