It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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