Need sex. Gaining weight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
