new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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