His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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