your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
