One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
