Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize