So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
