He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
