Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
