just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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