So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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