There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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